New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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