ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Dignity is for republicans.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
