There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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