Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
PANTIES FOUND
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