he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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