He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
