I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Watching her eat just hurts me
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
