she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
