I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
