so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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