Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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