Will you blow on my dice?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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