Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
