ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
