i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
