yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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