i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
