Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
