Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
