He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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