it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
