Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
