Can Purell be used as lube?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
