dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
