Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
