you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
