Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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