I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
