Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
