but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
