OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
