I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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