Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
