great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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