They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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