I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
