Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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