Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
