Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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