i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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