went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
