Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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