It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
