I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
So. Much. Porn.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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