I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
