I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
