:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
