He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
