Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
