Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
