You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
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