in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i drank out of a bidet.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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