I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
