He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Even my vagina gasped.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
