either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
