fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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