Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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