If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
