Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
love makes seman taste better
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
