So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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